Some say we have an “inner child” — a part of ourselves that’s “emotional,” vulnerable, and open about its wants and needs.  Lots of personal growth work is about accessing and nurturing this “inner child” part.
Personally, I’m not a fan of the term “inner child.”  In our culture, it’s usually seen as a criticism to [...]

I usually don’t feel drawn to doing “list posts.”  Some of this is because of my unease about doing something “everyone else” seems to be doing.
So, as a personal growth exercise, I’m going to jump right in and do a list post!  I also think this is a pretty cool and valuable list of questions [...]

Once upon a time, my goal was to lead a life that was completely criticism-proof.  Once I had the “right” job, credentials, relationship, and so on, no one would ever accuse me of falling short in any area.  I’d get nothing but respect from everyone I worked with and knew.
Of course, this plan didn’t quite [...]

I used to be in search of a book, workshop or practice that would, in a matter of hours or days, change me forever.  I’d stop doubting myself, my relationships would always go smoothly, I’d become courageous enough to always say how I felt, and so on.
I had this goal in mind, consciously or not, [...]

Robin recently said something, in one of her many uplifting comments, that really got me thinking.  She asked how I came to be so insightful about human nature.
I agreed with her that I do have a pretty good sense of what makes people tick, and I pondered for a bit how I got that awareness.  [...]

For a few years, I believed that what we often call “the rational mind” was my enemy.  I have a powerful rational mind, and most people would see this as a plus, but to me that was part of the problem.  I thought all the analysis, judgment and criticism my mind did was holding me [...]

I’m excited to announce that I’ve launched a new blog I’ve been thinking about for some time.  It’s not a replacement for this blog — I’m going to keep writing for both of them, because each of them deals with a different aspect of my work.  The new blog is called Development In Context (or [...]

Many of us know the story of Narcissus — the boy who drowned because he fell in love with his reflection in a lake, and jumped in hoping to embrace his image.  At first glance, this story seems to be about the dangers of loving yourself too much.  If Narcissus had only taken his attention [...]

 
As I’m sure you know, some people doubt that personal growth work has practical benefits.  Some scoff at the idea of working with our thoughts and emotions, seeing it as just a tree-hugging hippie way of escaping the harsh reality of survival and conflict.  Others only see value in personal development work that teaches nonstop [...]

Many of us on a “personal development” or “spiritual” path harbor the secret hope that, one day, we’ll be “fixed.”  If we work hard enough at visualizing what we want, pushing our comfort zone, saying affirmations, or whatever we normally do, one day we’ll get rid of all the parts of ourselves we don’t want.  [...]