If I see myself as a burden, I probably won’t talk to you.  When I see you, I’ll most likely think “oh, they must have so many interesting and fun people around them — they don’t need me taking up more space in their life.”  To make sure I don’t bother you, I’ll avoid [...]

It’s funny how scary it can be to relax.
When I was a kid, I came to believe that, when I relaxed the muscles in my jaw and behind my eyes, my face took on a doe-eyed, “begging” look.  This, I thought, made me appear weak, and an easy target for bullying.
So, I took up the [...]

Like most people, I have moments of loneliness.  They tend to begin with thoughts about how I wish I had more people around me, everyone else is probably having fun and I’m not, blah blah, et cetera, ad nauseam.
If I look more closely at my loneliness, I usually notice that, underneath all the thinking, there’s [...]

Some say we have an “inner child” — a part of ourselves that’s “emotional,” vulnerable, and open about its wants and needs.  Lots of personal growth work is about accessing and nurturing this “inner child” part.
Personally, I’m not a fan of the term “inner child.”  In our culture, it’s usually seen as a criticism to [...]

Evelyn graciously asked me to share some thoughts about self-love for a compilation of posts she’s putting together.  I thought I’d start by sharing a story about a moment just a few days ago when I showed myself some love.
I must have looked a little mopey, because my friend asked me whether I was all [...]

I usually don’t feel drawn to doing “list posts.”  Some of this is because of my unease about doing something “everyone else” seems to be doing.
So, as a personal growth exercise, I’m going to jump right in and do a list post!  I also think this is a pretty cool and valuable list of questions [...]

At a corporate job I did a while back, there was a manager whom everybody saw as a “royal terror.”  People regularly left his office in tears, and left the company soon after.
One day, I asked a colleague why this man acted the way he did, and my coworker’s answer was interesting:  “he’s earned the [...]

I used to be in search of a book, workshop or practice that would, in a matter of hours or days, change me forever.  I’d stop doubting myself, my relationships would always go smoothly, I’d become courageous enough to always say how I felt, and so on.
I had this goal in mind, consciously or not, [...]

My focus used to be on helping people find fulfilling careers.  Like many of us, I assumed that, as soon as we find the “right” career — something we’re passionate about, that pays the bills, that gives us a flexible schedule, or has whatever else we’re looking for in a “dream job” — we’ll get [...]

(This piece was inspired by one of the many heart-opening conversations I had with Robin in the comments to an earlier post.)
There’s a lot of advice out there about “how to be creative.”  On the surface, this sounds great — everybody wants to come up with useful and profitable ideas, right?  But when I look [...]