Comments on: Taking Back Your Self-Control

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:39:01 +0000

Hi Sara — I can definitely relate — for a lot of us, I think, work is an exercise in forgetting our bodies and becoming totally absorbed in the computer screen, and just stepping back for a moment and remembering we have this body with sensations and needs and so on is a great way to get perspective. Enjoy your lunch.

By: Sara

Sara — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:30:40 +0000

Chris — This post made really made me think. I have a bad habit of not taking breaks. I often will work through my lunch. It’s almost 2:30pm and I still haven’t eaten lunch. I think this is due to either being way too focused or over persistent??? Whatever, it’s not healthy!!!

After reading what you said, I sat in my chair, stopped writing for a few minutes and payed attention to what I was feeling. I realized I was hungry and tired.

Therefore, thank you for this post. I am leaving now to take a break and eat my lunch:~)

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 20:21:30 +0000

Hi Evelyn — that reminds me of a story I heard about a man who asked Osho what he should do to quit smoking. Osho apparently said “smoke consciously” — that the man should observe himself closely as he felt the urge to smoke and gave into it — and that if he was fully conscious of what he was doing, rather than running on autopilot, doing something so harmful to him would be impossible.

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 20:19:38 +0000

Hi Robin — yes, I think compassion is the essence of this practice — it’s not an attempt to fight against or shame the sensation, which I think is what most of us are used to doing. I think letting whatever’s coming up complete its sequence, as you say, is a great way to put it — it’s as if, when we go and do some addictive behavior, we actually interrupt the sequence rather than letting it finish and dissolve on its own.

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 20:16:20 +0000

Hi Davina — that’s interesting — I wonder what’s going on when you want to get up but you run into some sort of resistance? Is there anything in particular that you’re feeling or thinking when that’s happening? I find this kind of curiosity helpful when I’m trying to understand my own odd habits.

By: Evelyn Lim

Evelyn Lim — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:27:53 +0000

Hmmm….how interesting….I have often wondered how to help someone who wishes to give up his/her addictions such as smoking. The tendency to run away and not face up is indeed a typical response. Watching the sensation may just do the trick! Thanks for sharing with me!

By: Robin Easton

Robin Easton — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 04:22:55 +0000

Dear Chris, this is so so soothing to read. I am blessed to not really have any uncontrollable behavior (although that was not always the case), but friends have often pointed this out to me or asked why I don’t have uncontrollable behavior, BUT when I read what you wrote here it gave me words that I can pass on to others.

I never liked so many of the hard and fast ways of dealing with “uncontrollables”. I always felt there was a more compassionate and intrinsic way to move through uncontrollable behavior and you have just shared it. And you’ve written it so beautifully. You know Chris, there is great power in this soothing breathe, be aware, let it move through me sequence you have described.

In my second book that I’m working on now, I write about not trying to “get rid” of something, but rather just “starving” it by breathing (I counted to 100 and breathed) and let it pass moment by moment, until one day I woke up and it was gone. When deprived of the action the uncontrollable could not longer survive inside me. It just withered away to nothing.

Very compassionate writing.
Thank you Chris.

By: Davina

Davina — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:00:07 +0000

Hi Chris. I’m wrestling with myself these days on getting up at a decent hour. Perhaps it’s the effect of the shorter, darker, wintry days. But since I don’t have to get up and be at work by 9 (I work for myself) I’ve been letting myself sleep in. However, ideally I would like to get up earlier so I would have more time for things such as meditation or yoga, writing or blogging. Even when I wake at 6 am, I manage to lounge in bed until close to 8. Either I’m avoiding something, or I’m enjoying life and trying to sabotage that enjoyment Still reflecting on this.

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 20:52:34 +0000

Hi Jannie — thanks for the vote of confidence and I’m glad you’re enjoying the book. I think I know what I’m doing too, which sure is a stark contrast with a year or two ago.

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 20:51:22 +0000

Hi Megan — that’s an important point, I think, that many of us spend so much time beating ourselves up when we give into our unwanted urges, when the most helpful thing to do is to accept our human imperfection.