(This is the second in a series of articles about transcending the feeling that we’re “trapped” in what we’re doing right now, whether in our careers or elsewhere.  If this article is helpful to you, you’ll probably find Part One and Part Three useful as well.) 

Fully realizing the amount of freedom we have in how we can live our lives, Jean-Paul Sartre wrote in Being And Nothingness, can be frightening.  When we recognize what a staggering number of choices we have, we’re seized by the fear that we might take the wrong path.  Sartre compared this feeling to looking over a cliff, worrying that we might have a lapse in judgment and jump:  “I am afraid not of falling over the precipice, but throwing myself over. . . . I distrust myself and my own reactions.”

I’m reminded of Sartre’s words when I consider why so many motivated, successful professionals I’ve met have told me, with straight faces, that they’re “trapped” in their current jobs.  Despite their many credentials and achievements, they believe, for one reason or another, that they have no choice but to do what they’re doing now.  Perhaps they say a transition would be too much of a financial risk, they’re too old to change course now, they aren’t creative or persistent enough, there’s too much competition, or something else.

I addressed some of these common objections to making a career transition in my last post.  In my experience, however, just answering practical concerns like these often isn’t enough to help people overcome their fear of making a change.  The real concern that has them hold back is a deeper one, and I think much of the time it’s similar to the one Sartre expressed.  Contemplating a career change—or, really, any other significant change in our lives—forces us to acknowledge how much choice we have, and the vastness of the possibilities open to us can be dizzying and scary.

In this article, I’ll discuss what I mean by the “fear of freedom,” and how strongly it influences and limits us in so many areas of our lives.  I’ll also talk about an exercise we can use to let ourselves fully experience, and thus transcend, that fear.

Our Fear Of Freedom Runs Deep

Instead of fully experiencing the “vertigo” we feel when we grasp how free we are, we tend to flee from it or push it away.  One of the strategies we use to avoid our fear of freedom is to tell ourselves we’re “trapped” in our present patterns of living and working—to convince ourselves, in other words, that we actually don’t have all that choice.

This is what I suspect is going on when, for instance, a young lawyer tells me that, despite his talent, education and substantial salary, he’s “stuck” in his legal career and “living paycheck to paycheck.”  It’s more comfortable for him to assume he has no options in his career than to face the vast array of options that are actually open to him.

We might also say that many of the beliefs and customs around working in our society are collective strategies for helping us escape our fear of freedom.  We have many shared assumptions, or nuggets of “conventional wisdom,” about the limitations on our career options, such as “if you don’t work for someone else, you’re unemployed,” “go work for a big company so you’ll have job security,” “all the business ideas in the world have already been tried,” and so on.  Although they may limit our career fulfillment, these shared assumptions at least give us some sense of security and direction, instead of the seemingly bottomless pit of infinite choice.

We can see the fear of freedom in how fiercely and tenaciously people cling to the common beliefs about working.  If you’ve ever contemplated or made a career transition, you probably know what I mean.  Often, when we’re thinking about changing careers, many of our loved ones and friends react as if our decision is not only misguided, but also immoral or selfish.

The strength of the resistance we meet when we challenge the conventional wisdom around careers illustrates just how deep the fear of finding out how much choice we have can run.  Not only do others hold back from pursuing their own dreams because they’re afraid of making significant decisions in their lives, but they also get distressed when we start recognizing how much choice we have and exploring new possibilities.

Related Areas Of Our Lives Where The Fear Limits Us

Our collective strategies for running away from our freedom extend far beyond just the conventional beliefs about working.  They exist in our approach to our personal finances, our intimate relationships, and many other areas.  For instance, much has been written recently about how each of us has an unconscious “money blueprint.”  We have, in other words, an unconscious vision of what our financial situation should be like, and we always seem to end up in that situation regardless of how much money we make.  The example most often cited for this idea is that of lottery winners who somehow, in short order, lose their millions and return to being poor.

Now, consider this idea for a moment:  perhaps it’s also true that we, consciously or otherwise, design our personal finances to restrict our career freedom and avoid the “vertigo” I’m talking about.  Some of us, for instance, take on large financial obligations such as expensive mortgages and car loans—sometimes called “golden handcuffs”—that effectively tie us to our current jobs.  These self-imposed restrictions make it easier for us to tell ourselves, and others, that making a change would be too financially risky.

As I mentioned earlier, I saw this a lot while I was a lawyer.  My attorney friends would sometimes tell me things like “I’m not sure law is for me, but financially I’m too deep in the hole to make a change.”  It’s true that, despite making a few hundred thousand dollars a year, some young lawyers I knew were deeply in debt.  What they were unwilling to admit, however, was that their own actions had created their debt, and that by making a few sacrifices they could likely get out of it—and maybe even get to a place financially where they could follow their true calling.

Many of them did have law school loans to pay off, but that was far from the only reason why they were “in the hole.”  They had chosen to buy expensive houses, cars, stereo systems, and other material trappings of “success” in our society, and if they really needed some extra cash they could give those things up.  However, it was more comfortable for them to tell themselves and others they were imprisoned in the legal profession than to acknowledge how free they really were.

I’m not making these observations to put anyone down.  I’m just pointing out how deeply the fear of our freedom influences our lives, and not just in the career context.  I myself experience this feeling often when I sit down to write an article, and the vast number of potential topics and approaches to writing a piece seems dizzying.  Similarly, when I decide to take a trip somewhere, the possible number of places I can visit often looks daunting.

When we become conscious of how scared we are of making significant decisions, and how many of our beliefs are rooted in that fear, we develop some choice around whether to act despite our “vertigo.”

Staring Down The Abyss

I’ve found that an effective method for transcending the fear of freedom, beyond just recognizing we have it, is to see the fear for what it really is.  Our usual impulse, when we’re confronted with this fear, is to run away from it, as if experiencing it could actually hurt or destroy us.  Instead of acknowledging the massive number of choices available to us, we pretend we’re stuck in what we’re doing, or distract ourselves with an instant-gratification activity like partying or watching TV to avoid thinking about it.

We flee from our fear because we have labeled it as something “bad” that we aren’t supposed to be experiencing.  Like physical injury or disease, we think, the anxiety we endure when we contemplate how much choice we have is something we’re supposed to avoid.  Ultimately, however, the “vertigo” we experience when we see the massive scope of our choices is just a sensation that arises in our bodies.  Perhaps, for instance, it’s a tension in our shoulders, or an icy feeling in our throats.  In itself, it’s neither good nor bad.

We can experience this for ourselves firsthand by doing a simple meditation.  To do this, find a comfortable, quiet place to sit, close your eyes, and contemplate all the things you could choose to do with your life right now.  Imagine yourself, for instance, leaving your job and moving far away to live in an ashram, playing bass in a reggae band, or going into professionally making quilts.

Contemplating these choices, which are probably quite a departure from what you’re used to, may bring up some fear.  Considering possibilities outside your normal understanding of what you can do for a living may highlight the huge number of options open to you, and this can be frightening.  Your initial impulse may be to turn away, but see if you can continue breathing, keep your body relaxed, and focus on the scenario you’re imagining.  Keep breathing and holding your attention on the visualization until the sensations you’re feeling pass away.

By doing this exercise, you prove to yourself that you can survive fully experiencing the fear of freedom, and even act and make decisions in spite of that fear.  The more you do this meditation, the less intense and intimidating the sensations will seem.  This can give you more freedom to explore career possibilities, and other possibilities in your way of living, that you may have shied away from considering before.

Here’s another way to put this idea that may be helpful.  You’ve likely been places in your life where you’ve been confronted by a lot of stimulation.  Perhaps, for example, you’ve taken in a stunning sunset over a forest or some mountains, or entered a packed dance club or concert hall filled with people, sounds and flashing lights.

In these situations, it may have taken you a moment to adjust to getting bombarded with all that sensation, but you probably developed a tolerance for it fairly quickly, and perhaps even started enjoying yourself.  Similarly, recognizing the amount of choice you have in life may seem like too much to take in at first, but if you simply allow yourself to experience the anxiety that recognition may create for a while, it starts to feel more manageable.

It may seem more comfortable for us to tell ourselves we aren’t free to make changes in our lives, but this approach robs us of much of the adventure and fulfillment life offers us.  When we become willing to “peer over the cliff” and recognize the awesome scope of our freedom, working and living develop a richness they may not have possessed before.  As spiritual teacher J. Krishnamurti said, “if you leave the pool you have dug for yourself and go out into the river of life, then life has an astonishing way of taking care of you.”

(This article appeared in the Avenue of Authenticity blog carnival, located at www.chandraunplugged.com.)

Related posts:

1. Are You Really “Trapped”? (Part One)
2. Are You Really “Trapped,” Part Three: Do You Have The “Right” To Pursue Your Goals?
3. Career Transitions For Lawyers (Part Two)
4. Life Is Too Short—But So What?
5. Releasing Our Need To Be “Taken Seriously”