Comments on: Do You Distrust Others, Or Just Yourself?

By: Erederic

Erederic — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 09:56:14 +0000

Great One…

I must say, its worth it! My link, http://charlo.persianblog.ir/,thanks haha…

By: Distrust

Distrust — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 02:26:21 +0000

Distrust…

A while back I worked with a client who was interested in leaving her corporate marketing job and op [...]…

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:40:10 +0000

Hi Jannie — thanks for your share. I know the feeling — it’s like Groucho Marx said — “I wouldn’t join any club that would have me as a member.”

By: Jannie Funster

Jannie Funster — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 00:49:01 +0000

MYSELF!! Implicitily. And those who have gained my trust.

By: Confidence From Within - The Power Of Positive Thinking. | 7Wins.eu

Confidence From Within - The Power Of Positive Thinking. | 7Wins.eu — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 13:50:48 +0000

[...] Purpose Power Coaching

By: Chris Edgar

Chris Edgar — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 18:22:16 +0000

Hi Charles — thanks for your comment. That idea rings true for me that removing the focus from our own needs, and becoming more trustable to others, is really about letting go. It’s almost a leap of faith, trying on the idea that the universe will support me even if I take my attention off protecting myself for a moment. But when we take that leap it makes all the difference in relating with others. — Best, Chris

By: Charles H. Green

Charles H. Green — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 02:16:48 +0000

Chris,

I realize this post was some time ago, but I want to congratulate you on having had it selected as among the Top Ten posts of the month of January 2009 for the Carnival of Trust.

The Carnival of Trust has a rotating host; this month, it was Diane Levin at Mediation Channel. You can find the Carnival post at http://mediationchannel.com/2009/01/12/january-2009-carnival-of-trust/ .

The Carnival of Trust is the creation of Charles H. Green (that’s me) at http://www.trustedadvisor.com, blog TrustMatters. Past Carnivals and information about the Carnival of Trust can be found at
http://trustedadvisor.com/trustmatters.carnivalofTrust/

I want to add a few words to Diane’s commentary. The idea that we must first trust ourselves in order to trust others is profoundly right.

In my own work on trust, I have developed the Trust Equation. It suggests that people trust us to the extent that we are credible, reliable and intimate, all reduced by the extent of our self-orientation. The self-orientation factor (literally placed in the denominator of the Trust Equation) is the strongest. It basically says that if I am focused on your needs, rather than my own, then to that extent I can be trusted. If I am focused on my own needs–regardless of whether it’s due to selfishness or simply neurotic self-absorption–then I cannot be trusted to focus on the needs of others.

Therefore the ability for me to be comfortable with myself, secure enough in my own capabilities to “let go” and focus on others, really is critical to the ability to trust and be trusted. Another way of saying what you already said yourself so eloquently.

Thanks and congratulations again.

Charles H. Green

By: Mediation Channel » January 2009 Carnival of Trust

Mediation Channel » January 2009 Carnival of Trust — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:33:05 +0000

[...] coach Christopher Edgar at Purpose Power Coaching wonders, “Do You Distrust Others, Or Just Yourself?“ Describing the struggle of one of his clients to come to terms with her own inability to [...]

By: admin

admin — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:48:24 +0000

Thanks for your comment and your share Ari. I can feel your commitment to having deep and mutually supportive relationships with people. I can also see your courage in your willingness to take responsibility for the dynamic that keeps coming up in your relationships. I’m curious what specific kinds of expectations you tend to develop and how you usually see others as failing to meet them.
– In gratitude, Chris

By: Ari Koinuma

Ari Koinuma — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:45:00 +0000

Hello — just came over from Carnival of Positive Thinking.

This post really hits close to home, as I find that I do have a hard time trusting others. But when I do trust, I trust perhaps too much — or expect unreasonably from other parties.

With me, I am not sure if my fear lies in my lack of trust in myself — it seems more about the sting of feeling betrayed and disappointed. Being disappointed in someone is a common thread in my life.

I do have good friends I do trust, though — so why do I keep creating situations where I’m disappointed in someone?

Hmmm, I have to explore this more on my own. Thanks for the food for thought.

ari