I used to be very unhappy with the way I thought about myself.  I was particularly dissatisfied with the egotistical thoughts I had.  Thoughts would come up like “I’m going to be mega-famous and fill 30,000-seat arenas,” “everyone is going to see me as their spiritual guru,” “I’m a figure of historical importance,” and so forth, and I didn’t want them in my mind.

I believed these thoughts were dangerous because they would fill me with pride and cause me to act recklessly, or give me unrealistic expectations and leave me disappointed.  I also thought that, in order to be spiritually healthy, I had to relinquish my grandiose visions.  I had to force myself to be humble to attain enlightenment.  Thus, I’d resist those thoughts, and shame myself, whenever they popped into my mind.

Constantly pushing my thoughts away required physical effort, and created tension in my body.  My jaw and shoulders would tighten when I resisted a thought I didn’t approve of.  This tension built up over time and caused pain and stiffness.  And the more I punished myself for having the unwanted thoughts, the more they seemed to pop into my head.

One day, I decided to try a different approach.  For a long time, I’d been choosing to love and accept my negative, self-hating thoughts when they came up.  When I’d think something nasty about myself, such as “I’m not successful enough” or “I’m not attractive enough,” I’d simply allow that thought to be, without laughing it off or pushing it away.  This was working well for me—when I’d fully accept a negative thought as it was, I’d no longer feel the despair I used to associate with that kind of thinking.  I decided to apply the same method to my egotistical thoughts.

Taking this step brought me the most peace of any spiritual practice I’ve used.  When I simply allowed my grandiose thoughts to be, without judging or shaming them, they ceased to feel as threatening.  They were just thoughts, like any other ones, and they were just as worthy of my love and acceptance.  The thoughts themselves were not hurting me—my resistance to them was the source of my suffering.  When I loved my egotistical thoughts, they ceased to be problematic.

Many spiritual teachers advise us to “love what’s so” or “love what’s true right now.”  We tend to take this maxim to mean accepting what’s going on in the outside world in this moment, without judgment or resistance.  For instance, it means we should adopt an attitude of acceptance if we have a car accident, our significant other leaves us, we become sick, and so on.  But this idea applies to your thoughts as well, including those you’d rather not be thinking.  Your thoughts, just like the facts out in the world, are part of your experience.

Suffering occurs when you create a category of thoughts that it’s not okay for you to have.  Some people do this with memories of difficult events.  “Shut up!” they say to their minds.  “Stop making me relive that!”  Others do it with thoughts that come up when they’re interacting with others.  “I’m trying to concentrate on what this person is saying,” they say.  “You’re distracting me by taking a romantic interest in them.”  Still others do it with self-critical thoughts.  “No, you’re wrong!  I’m a wonderful person.”  And so on.  When we punish ourselves for thinking in certain ways, our lives feel stressful and contracted.

One way to stay aware of the need to fully accept your thoughts is to recognize that thoughts and events in the outside world are—at the deepest level—composed of the same stuff.  They are made of the same energy that comprises everything in the universe.  Eckhart Tolle uses the analogy of the various forms taken by water to illustrate this point:

“Just as water can be solid, liquid, or gaseous, consciousness can be seen to be ‘frozen’ as physical matter, ‘liquid’ as mind and thought, or formless as pure consciousness.”

Because thoughts—like sunsets, ice cream and Caribbean beaches—are forms of life or consciousness, they are entitled to the same love and respect as all other forms.  To fully accept all of our thoughts, just as we accept other forms of life, is to draw nearer to peace.

(This article appeared in the Carnival of Healing, located at http://mind-mart.com/carnival/carnival-of-healing-134.)

Related posts:

1. Thoughts On Conscious Suffering
2. Finding Optimism By Being In Awe
3. Living In The Now Dissolves Shame
4. Going On A Mental Diet
5. What Have You Got To “Show For” Your Life?